“When the sun goes down, look back”. Brother Ma quoted this a few weeks ago; it deeply touched me and let me carefully review my past life. Twenty years ago, the first night I came to the United States, was spent in this church. At the time, pastor Pan was leading a group of students for a game. Prior to that, I always thought the church was just a solemn place, and did not think of the church as full of warmth and joy. I found the feeling of home at the church while I first time away from home town.
Looking back, I just realized it took me so long to be a Christian. Perhaps it’s the ingrained Chinese education, made me like a hard stone. Although I like the harmonious and peaceful atmosphere at the church, listening to sermons from the pastor Pan and Pastor Chen, and meeting friends at the church, but I only believe things exist when I can see them though my eyes. I never realized that what really exists is felt by my heart.
Later on, our host family sent us a wooden cross; I hang it at the front window of my car. Whenever I feel impatient or worried, I would instinctually touch the cross. I did not pray to the Lord, but my heart would always calm down immediately. I knew that, though I had not believed the Lord, the Lord is staying in my heart.
When the sun goes down, look back. Friends around me come and go, but whenever I need help, the first thought is the friends from the church. They always give me help whenever I need it. Two month ago, when my mother in law found out there was a tumor on her leg, the brothers and sisters from the church sent a variety of greetings and gifts. We felt so warm from the bottom of our hearts. Although living in a foreign land, I feel like my relatives are all around me. The love and help from the brothers and sisters at the church made me feel the love of God. I wish to be just like the brothers and sisters at the church learning how to love others and spreading the gospel.
From now on I have a spiritual life. Although there is a lot to learn, I would like to give my life to the Lord, so that it can be forgiven, purified and improved. “Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me, For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day (Psalm 25:4-5)”.
When the sun goes down, look back. At the end of the darkness, there is a light for me. Walking in the darkness, I will no longer be afraid and helpless.
By
Dan Hu
2017/10/29